But I Feel, I’m Growing Older…

Everything about blogging is so nice for me, but one: it makes me feel that I’m growing older. Indeed, blogospehere, as all web based communities, is a young world and the world of the young. Elders are visitors here.

But not that fact makes me feel the sorrow of the aging that soon. It’s how the young bloggers get their blogs maintained, the way they develop a house of big ideas, showing high or highest level understanding of the misteries of life.

They seems so familiar with the biggest questions and farest searching of humankind, make the spiritual and philosophy area as a gamezone. It’s not only fresh, but contain something too. The serious and heavyweight discourses, in their hand, becoming a nice and easy conversations.

Take this post as an example, from Namada‘s blog.

Life is Not About That

Life is not about collecting values. Not about how many people call you everyday, not about what sport you play or what kind of girls adoring you. Not about your shoes, your hair, the color of your skin, your place, nor your school.

In fact, life is not about your exam scores, money, clothes, or in what college you accepted or refused. Life is not even about whether you have many friends or not, a celebrity or a solitaire, and not about whether you welcomed or rejected by your neighbourhood. Life is not about that.


It’s about whom you love and whom you hurt. About how do you really feel about yourself. About trust, honesty, happiness, and cares. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming the ignorance and aphatism, and building trust. About the space between what you said and what you really mean. About appreciating people as they are, not because what they have.

And above all, life is about choosing, to make decision that you will use your life to touch other people life, in a way that never can be replaced with any other ways. Life is about these choice.

Can you believe that this “Zarathushtra” written by a 19 year old girl? Too young, too far.

And this article was written by a girl, that even younger. From Hellda‘s blog.

Solution as You Wish

Be honest this time… Have you ever really need opinion from people to help you solve your problem or make your hard choice? Well, at the beginning perhaps you mean it when you asked them. You really want to know how they see the puzzle. But there is already a final answer in your mind.

Let say, I’m in an early stage of a serious relationship with  A, the man I met in my new office.

Then, I want to know your opinion about the man, about the relationship. When you say that A is not a right candidate to be placed in my life, instead of thinking about your opinion, I’ll hate you since the day. But you’ll make me happy, if you say that man is just perfect for me. My reaction would be something like… “Oh, You’re really really my best friend I ever have, the only person understand me in the world”.
Same thing would happen when you choosing what dress to wear to an important party. The crowd may make their own choice, but you’ll wear yours.
How they reached that peak, was always amazing me. But then I start thinking about another possibility. Perhaps, they are not extraordinary young people.
It’s me, the old boy, standing still at this point, make no progress for years. Even worse. For the time is keep running, I’m not only stagnant, but decreasing, left behind and forgotten. 😦
Suddenly, I fell I’m growing older, growing too fast, as I remember and counting, how many dreams has gone, replaced by regrets.
I realize now, it’s not an achievement how I learn to accept what I cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as I would have it happen. Yeah. It’s not fruits of wisdom I collected all the way, but the proof that aging has defeated me.
Bravery was  the story of yesterday. Now I “understand” life isn’t supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn’t supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day’s not perfect, it’s not a failure or a terrible loss. It’s just another day.”
Sounds wise to you? Nope. They are signs of defeat. Decorated signs.
Some men – I’m one of them – are like cheap paintings. It’s brightness color quickly dimmed by the years, and before it totally lost, when the canvas can be painted again, the only color left was grey.
Age minimalizes our clarity of attitude. Just like our hair, our position and values turning grey. We are becoming so tollerance and permissive, feel comfort by hiding on the “middle”. For we now understand that there is both good and bad in all people and all things, and with a graceful and deep intonation, laughing at the flame of idealism and wave of spirit of the young, saying, “Someday, they will learn, they will know…”
What a shame, surrender this way, this soon, to the siege of the age. Growing old is a must, but we should not just wait. As years come and go, we have to give our best effort for growing up, growing up the idealism, the dream, the bravery, the clarity of color, instead of let them go, piece by piece.
Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. Dare to play? Or do you prefer sit comfortly there, outside of the ring, watching the game played by the young… Amazed by the braveries, when the fighters enjoy their victories…
Yeah… Stay there old man. No arena for old men. 
The tittle taken from the song Soldier of Fortune, by Deep Purple. Yeah… I love that song, more and more…

14 thoughts on “But I Feel, I’m Growing Older…

  1. Zhmee Altratimuri

    Dilokalin dong gan… (kok kayak reply posting di kaskus ya?)

    Mengenang masa2 kita ngeblog sama2:
    buka baju (agak panas soalnya) sambil dengar lagu gak jelas yang diputar Fery atau pak naga. Tiba2 sirait lebih milih tidur di busa jelek bekas kursi daripada sama biniknya di rumah, syawal gilo garu2 t*t*ng, pak anto pake jeket karena demam, (kok sering demam ya?) tiba2 mberngap ginting datang sambil nawarin “indomei? nasi goreng? awak apa? rokok?”, trus tiba2 ada kawan yang nyeletuk: “Oooooo……. capuccino…..!!!” (kayaknya aku ya?) (dalam keadaan menjaga untuk tak menutup adobe pagemaker 7.0, wakakakaka)

    Wuih.. kacau lah pokoknya..
    Pa kabar kalian semua??
    Tulisan kakanda Agot memang gak ada matinya.

  2. ozant

    siapa yang hari ini sama dengan hari kemaren adalah orang yang merugi.
    siapa yang hari ini lebih buruk dari hari kemaren adalah orang yang celaka.
    dan siapa yang lebih baik dari hari kemaren adalah orang yang beruntung.
    nah digolongan manakah kita?

  3. itikkecil

    Memang bang… saya suka salut dengan anak-anak muda yang tulisannya sudah sebegitu “mengerikan”nya. Mengerikan dalam artian, semuda itu sudah bisa membuat tulisan yang begitu dahsyat

  4. darnia

    menjadi tua itu pasti, menjadi dewasa itu pilihan.
    Dan ternyata banyak sekali blogger muda yang “memilih” untuk itu, mengambil banyak resiko untuk terus menjadi lebih baik

    Sometimes we must be Hurt in order to Grow,
    Sometimes we must Fail in order to Know ,
    Sometimes we must Lose in order to Gain ,
    Because some lessons in life are best learned through PAIN…

  5. yande

    Manusia adalah insan hidup, dia lahir, tumbuh tua dan menanti mati untuk kembali lahir

    Memaknai hidup dengan menulis seperti ini sungguh lebih berguna daripada diam membunuh diri dengan waktu

    Keep writing Bro

  6. putirenobaiak

    it depends on what u think

    lha dikau feeling old gue gmn ya, uzur? hehe..
    but i feel young & healthy, and sexy *coret yg terakhir*

  7. Fitra

    Nggak segitunya kali…. Usia bang Toga (so’ akrab) kan masih keitung muda, dibandingin sama yang udah pensiun :-D. Menghibur diri soalnya udah seumuran….


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